Just a tiny sample of more than 700 re-definitions from this dictionary for dyslexics, iconoclasts and irreverent types.
Click on links for some of the 28 illustrations by Preston Vismale.
A
A Cappella - Mexican resort frequented by countertenors.
Allargando (It) - Slow swamp reptile whose skin is used in drum manufacture.
Altered natural minor - Your child following transexual surgery.
Appalachian Spring - Favored vacation spot of Copland.
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B
Bagatelle - Carrying case musicians use to transport small items.
Bands - Rubber tubes used in musician’s orthodontic work.
Barcarole (Fr.) - Play acting for canines with special emphasis on vocals.
Battle music - Compositions written for Kathleen.
C - D
Callithump - Noise made when a calliope falls.
Cantor - Speed at which “Hatikvah” is sung.
Cello - Dessert eaten by Spanish musicians.
Charleston - Site of West Virginia dance-athon.
Clutsam keyboard - Jumbled arrangement of piano keys for use by European Jewry.
Descending Progression - Pit orchestra on way to seats.
Drag - Alto sax posing as a tenor sax.
E - F - G
Ear training - Useful technique when learning to barcarole.
Elegie - Allergic reaction to polonaise.
Entrance - F-hole.
Festival - Partie for Satie.
Flats - Deflated musicians' egos.
Fret - Form of stage fright experienced by musicians.
Gambang - Sexual attack upon anyone doing the gamba.
Grund - Noise made when a caliope is sat upon.
H - I
Hard rock - Stale drum rolls.
Haydn - Reclusive composer.
Ideomelon - Musical instrument played by those with IQ under 80.
Italian Overture - "Buon giorno, come va?"
J -L
Jam session - Summer fruit festival when musicians reap harvest and make jelly.
Key signature - Star Spangled Banner.
Loudspeaker - Hearing impaired orator.
M - N - O
Maraca - North African city frequented by salsa players.
Melodic minor - Child with perfect pitch.
Natural - Liza Minelli.
Orff - Beginning sounds that dogs make when learning to barcarole.
That's all folks! Just a sampling of more than 700 definitions to hopefully whet your appetite. If you are interested in further information about obtaining the complete Musical Malaproptionary, click here> PhD.
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